I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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