Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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