update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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