i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
