i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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