You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dear god my vagina.
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