Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
