How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
