How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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