Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
