when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My vagina is officially offended.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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