a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
