NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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