Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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