we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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