sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
