lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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