i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
