I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
