Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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