i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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