I feel like I'm in dance class right now
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
