i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
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