I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
