She announced her abortion via fbk
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
