Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
May the power of my ass compel you!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
