He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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