The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
