I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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