He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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