Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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