and you said cock pushups were impossible
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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