How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
