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It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
