Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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