That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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