Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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