I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
