In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
