just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
