you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
