he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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