you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize