She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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