so explain again why im purple
no
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
