boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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