I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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