Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
