will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
