Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea

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(828): View more from North Carolina

then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

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(828): View more from North Carolina

yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.

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(805): View more from California

The air was thick with penises

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(816): View more from Missouri

im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death

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(513): View more from Ohio

As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"

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