Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
