i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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