Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
