We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize