Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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