I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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