she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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